|Looks all cute and innocent, |
So today we left for the barn and our riding lessons despite the fact that 2-4" of snow was forecasted. No big deal, right? Naaaaahhh! We have 4-wheel drive. What's 2-4 measly inches? I mean, if it we'd been talking about feet, well, that would have been another story. THAT would have been impressive. Yeah, I know, not my brightest moment, hindsight being 20/20 and all.
Let's just say we got almost halfway to the barn and we'd already seen several accidents. The kids and I had a quick discussion and decided that although we really wanted to see the horses and ride, it was probably not worth dying over, so we turned around. By this point visibility had deteriorated and snow had accumulated on the road and things were getting a bit dicey. Not really bad, just bad enough that I was sitting bolt upright, gripping the wheel and squinting anxiously at the road before me. I needed to pay attention, and asked the kids to be quiet so I could concentrate on not going off the road.
You know the saying that says "Nature abhors a vacuum?" Well, Sophie feels the same way about silence, and she was hell-bent and determined to fill the void of our silent truck with sound. Didn't matter what kind of sound, she just needed to make noise. Did I mention that she has a cold? Yep, she does. Sophie discovered that some of the best sounds she could make were ones that took advantage of her, ummm, congested state.
Snoooooooooorrrrrtttttttt! Huuuunngaaaaaah! Snnnooort! Hnnnnnghhh! Hnnnnnghhh!
"Soph, stop it."
Snnnooort! Hnnnnnghhh! Hnnnnnghhh!
"Knock it off, Soph. Mom needs to concentrate."
Snoooooooooorrrrrtttttttt! Huuuunngaaaaaah! Snnnooort! giggle giggle
Now just as I was about to lose my cool and drop the f-bomb (I know, bad Mommy!!!!), the snorts stopped. I smiled, reveling in the peaceful silence. Have I ever mentioned what a drama llama my daughter is? No? Let me give you an idea. The same child that will play an entire soccer game or rugby match one-legged with blood spurting out an artery will come shrieking into my room in the morning, convinced that the mark on her skin left by a crease in her sheet is a harbinger of some horrible wasting disease.
The silence in our car was soon cut by the noise of a violent thrashing, accompanied by other panicked sounds:
Unnngh, Unnnnngahhhh, Unghhh, Aaahhhhheeeeeeeeeeee!
"Soph, what's happening?!" I was trying to pull over while Noah tried to assess the situation.
"Mom, I'm choking on snot! I can't breathe! I need a hospital!"
"Duh, Sophie, if you can talk, you can breathe," says the big brother, in a tone dripping with scorn.
"Oh, yeah, I guess you're right," says the girl spawn with an unrepentant giggle.
"Okay, troops," I said, "Stand down. Crisis averted."
Seems all of her antics had caused the uh, snot, to get caught in her throat for a moment. Luckily I kept my head through all the shenanigans and we stayed on the road, eventually arriving home safely. I gave Sophie some cold medicine, poured myself a medicinal glass of wine and sat down to watch the snow fall while the kids played outside. Yeah, this car-bonding with the kids is a great thing, I suppose.
Here's how the she-devil entertained herself after we got home from our aborted barn trip...