Thursday, April 21, 2016

What's In A Name...Or Nickname

 Of course I'm paying attention to you.
Like the Shakespeare reference in the title?  Makes me sound edu-ma-cated, doesn't it?  Am experiencing
the need to feel I know something about something, because I am learning I know squat about horses.  Indy has been a great teacher in that respect, and every day I learn something new from him. Kinda like when you have kids and after they leave the toddler stage you think you've gotten the whole parenting thing down and then they become teenagers and you find you are pretty much just bobbing and weaving and trying to stay on your feet.

Anyway, the name thing.  We're big on them around here.  We name our cars, my trailer, the house, even the panini maker (Aunt Gilda, if you must know. Long story.)  Not only does everything have a name, but it usually possesses at least 2 or 3 nicknames.  This can often confuse people who don't know us that well, as evidenced by one of Noah's interactions with his kindergarten teacher.  She asked everyone in the class to tell her their parents' names.  One by one the kids said Jane, Bob, Bill, James, Susan, Nadim, etc.  When it was Noah's turn he piped up with, "Jackass and Hun."  Which resulted in our first experience with parent-teacher conferences...

Some examples:

Sophie: Toots, Soph, The Child, Soapy Grapes
Noah: Bud, Curmudgeon, The Boy, Sheldon Jr.
RJ: Big Man (because, at 17.2 hh, what else?), Moose, and (when he's being a boob) The Great Git

Jackass, Hun, Toots, & Sheldon Jr.
My husband's car is German, and we call it Otto.  Mine is a Chevy Tahoe, which felt so monstrously big when I got it I started calling it Sully, after the monster in Monsters, Inc.  Sully is also frequently called Da 'Hoe, which makes The Boy cringe, which is half my reason for calling it that. My trailer is called the HMS Valium.

And then there's Indy.  Indy has picked up several monikers in his short time with us.  He is called Baby Grey, Monkey Face (no idea where this one came from), Momma's Boy (in the good way), Little Man, and Stinky (again, no idea why as he smells quite nice).  Depending on the day and his behavior he's also been called Turd, Lackwit, DammitHorse, Little F**k and Dickhead. After our past several rides he's probably sure his name has been officially changed to Dickhead.

When my vet was doing Indy's PPE, he commented, "A bit ADD, isn't he?"  I tend to agree.  Indy's attention span is all over the place and his impulse control often leaves much to be desired. And while it can be tempting to interpret these behaviors as indicating lack of intelligence, it's really the opposite. Indy is one smart cookie, and I'm learning it's my job to figure out ways to keep his agile mind busy and focused on me.

Brain games for Indy

Anyway, clearly I was doing a crap job of it this past weekend, as the ADD was in full force, which meant there was a lot of "AAACKKK, a troll!" or "EEEK, my shadow!" or "OH NO! Horse-eating water trough!"  Which meant there was much neck-riding and cussing from Mom.  Hence Indy's name change. 

I can't wait to hear it announced at horse shows. Can you imagine? "Joining us now is Dickhead, owned and shown by Amy Vodraska."

He's so darn cute it's impossible to stay mad, though. 

Future posts will be focusing on How Amy Is Learning to Positively Parent Her Precocious Pony.  Stay tuned.

Such a cute face


  1. The kids where my horse lives think I call him 'Unicorn' in an affectionate way. Really it's a child friendly way to say he has something protruding from his forehead...aka Dickhead lol

    1. OMG, that's brilliant! I'm going to use that as code when our barn's little ones are around.

  2. LOL The Panini Maker made the blog!!! Hahahahaha. Long story indeed.

    I'm pretty sure Tucker thought his name was "Stoppit" for the first few years of his life. Name changes are perfectly acceptable.

    1. When we had Cookie, my friend's pony, we used to laugh that she probably thought the kids' names were Dammit Noah and Dammit Sophie. We called the kids "the Dammits."

  3. haha! Love them all. My horse has his fair share or nicknames too. And yes a bunch are curses.

    1. That's awesome - so glad to know I'm not alone.

  4. I come from an extremely nick-namey family myself and while it didn't extend to household appliances, the humans and pets had a LOT. The cars did, too! I have carried that fine tradition on with my kids. Both of them answer to a bewildering (and humiliating, if I slip and mention in public) variety of nicknames. Nobody would understand... just like nobody understands why my mother calls me "Pearl." Love this post and say hi to Dickhead! :D

    1. I said 'Hi' to Dickhead for you. He says "Hi" back, although he doesn't really understand what I mean by blogging friend. I hear you about humiliating nicknames - my Dad used to call me Buffalo Butt. Often in public. Not too much therapy needed for that!