Dork of the Day Award Goes To....ME!

This equestrian thing can be dangerous.

I mean, your body can take a beating. If you fall, it's usually from about 5 or 6 feet above the (hard) ground.  Sometimes higher, if you happen to be jumping when you and the horse part company.  And let's face it, we don't usually fall off while the horse is standing still. (Although, to be truthful, I can say that I've done that.)  Most of the time when we experience an unintentional dismount, it's at speed.  Which makes the ground seem harder.

By the way, did you know that there are scales to evaluate the hardness of an object as it pertains to the bounce back of the object hitting it? I prefer using the Leeb Rebound Hardness test, myself.

Yep, from now on you can look at your falls as science experiments.  You can even get a little doohickie called a schleroscope to measure the distance of your rebound after you hit the ground. 
Even better, there's even something called indentation testing that measure hardness based on the indentation left by an object hitting a surface.  So, you can measure the hardness of the ground by the size of the crater you left behind when you landed.

But I digress.  At least when you fall, you can point to your injuries with a sense of pride. Unfortunately, our equestrian passion often subjects us to less, uh, illustrious injuries - the broken toe from being stepped on, the bruised side from the bite of a girthy horse, or the scraped up leg from when Poopsikins tried to pry you off by using the nearest fence for leverage.

I give you my most recent Stupid Horse-Related Injury: The Self-Imposed, Helmet-Induced Nose Job.  Sadly, I was nowhere near a horse when this happened.  I was just getting ready to tack up, grabbing my saddle and helmet from the top rack, and the helmet bounced off the bottom rack, rebounded upwards and the brim smacked me right in the bridge of the nose. BAM!!!!!

I saw stars, and darn near went to my knees.  Bled like a stuck pig, too.  This is what it looks like 3 days later.  Lovely shade of Spring-like yellow, don't you think?

I'll be the first to tell you, helmet safety is VERY IMPORTANT!!!  Those suckers can hurt!

Anybody else have a silly horse-related injury they want to share?

Gasp...Wheeze...OXYGEN!

If you've been following AWIP, you might recall from a couple recent posts (this one and this one)  that Sug, the kids, and I are all currently getting physical therapy for various ailments.  Sug's recovering from some inflammation in the branches of her suspensory ligament, I'm dealing with herniated disks and sciatica, the kids both have knee issues and Soph has added upped the ante with an inflamed growth plate in her heel (or Calcaneal Apophysitis, for those of you who like tongue twisters.)


A family that therapizes together...uh, spends a fortune??

Things are slowly progressing.  Soph is not icing as much, Noah has finally been pain free and played in his first rugby tourney (hooray!) and Sug and I are up to 15 minutes of trotting, short and long sides!  Her recovery has been due to the excellent care of our barn owner and vet, and the no doubt (in my mind) to the laser therapy she's been getting from her Aunt Carolyn, my friend and owner of Peak Performance Therapy.  This laser stuff is amazing -- Carolyn's done my back several times and it really helped (although God knows what the neighbors thought, seeing me bent over her ottoman with my pants unbuckled! LOL!)

Sug getting laser therapy from Aunt Carolyn
(Peak Performance Therapy)

The thing is, we're SUPPOSED to be trotting 15 minutes consecutively.  Well, we do try, but the Sainted Mare and I find that a wee bit ambitious.  By the 4th minute we're both sucking for air, dripping with sweat, begging for mercy and ready to call "Uncle."

Speak for yourself.  I could go at least 8 minutes.  Maybe 10 if you'd let me do a slow trot.

OK, Sug. The point is, this getting back in shape thing ain't easy.  We're doing our best, and we do the 15 minutes.  Yes, it's more like 3 sets of 5 minutes, but that does add up to 15 minutes TOTAL.  Then we cool out, she gets her bath and her ice, and I get my BENGAY and my wine.

Here's to baby steps!  Cheers!

Tonight's vino therapy - a lovely New Zealand sauvignon blanc.

Function Follows Form. Who Knew??

You know those Conformation Clinics they do in just about every equine publication?  The ones where you have to pick the horse whose confirmation best suits a particular job?  I suck at those.  Never fails.  I never pick the right horse.  Worse yet, I simply cannot see half the stuff the author tells me is wrong with the horse.  She'll say one horse has really long pasterns, and the horse that beat it has great pasterns, but the winner's pasterns will inevitably look 2" longer to me. 

I bring this up because confirmation faults have bitten me in the tuckus in both my equine life AND my personal life.  It comes as no surprise that Sug's upright pasterns predisposed her to osteoarthritis in her coffin joints.  She's a bit tied in behind the knee, which could have contributed to our current issues with suspensory branch  inflammation.  If we ever decided to breed her (she's very well bred and was a broodmare in her past life) we'd have to choose a stallion with excellent leg conformation in hopes of getting a foal with better legs.

What is surprising me at the moment is that recent events with my kids suggest I should have put more thought into my own stallion selection.  My stallion  husband has lousy stifles knees and hooves feett .  Oh, yeah, and a slight curvature of the spine. Both my kids are in physical therapy for knee issues that are directly related to poor knee structure.  Both also have faulty foot alignment that leads to uneven gaits that cause heel pain in the one and compounds the knee pain in the other.  Thankfully their backs are strong and straight.

I am currently in physical therapy as well (cue Sly and the Family Stone's, "It's a Family Affaaaaiiiiiiir...) but my problems stem from old injuries, not poor conformation.  As a broodmare, I bring crappy teeth and poor eyesight to the gene pool.

The stallion in question, for all his conformation issues, is in great shape, active as heck, and is the only one of the lot of us that is not in PT, mainlining supplements, or getting regular massages and/or chiropractic.  Unless you count the cats.

Go figure.

Protect Your Melon!

This morning I was reading the "Letters to the Editor" page in the June 25th issue of The Chronicle of the Horse and two letters from readers dicussing Irish show jumper Denis Lynch's recent fall really resonated with me. (If you weren't aware, Lynch fell off while riding helmetless during his victory lap after a recent win and was knocked unconscious. While being knocked unconscious is not a visible injury like a broken arm or leg, the fact is it still means you've done some damage to your brain.)

I experienced my own really nast fall late last summer. Thnkfully, I was wearing a helmet, which no doubt saved my life, or at least my quality of life. Thing is, I gave myself quite the conusion even though I was wearing a helmet and was never unconscious, and I'm still feeling the effects of that concussion today, almost a year later.

I'm on a business trip, and I can tell you the effects of my concussion are still obvious in my client interactions. While speaking I often find it difficult to access the right words, or finish a sentence. My memory is not what it used to be. My ability to do math, never great to begin with, is now downright abysmal. In short, it takes me much longer to process things that I used to process in the blink of an eye, which, as you can imagine, is a bit frustrating and a challenge professionally.

The doctor says all of this is normal. Things have improved tremendously since the fall, but today's normal isn't the normal of 10 months ago. I can't even imagine what my life would be had I not been wearing a helmet.

Enough preaching. I recognize we all have a right to make decisions regarding our own personal health. However, reading those letters just prompted me to share some of the things I'm dealing with, just in case it resonates with someone and ultimately helps.

Sug Goes to Rehab...

Don't let the headline of this post fool you. The Sainted Mare has not been snorting bute or sugar cubes or anything like that. We're rehabbing her suspensory injury and we're now at the second stage - the trot stage. Mind you, we've done a lot of very exciting work at the walk; straightness, getting her to come off my leg better, keeping her rhythm steady. Let's face it though, after aw hole the walk gets ether, well, pedestrian.

This weekend we were finally allowed to trot, long sides only. We did our 30 minute power walk warm up, and then I asked her to trot down the long side going down to the barn. Sug almost jumped into the trot, she was so excited. She wanted to power down the line, and tried to show me her extended trot. I had to bring her back and explain to her that although I was very impressed, I didn't want her to reinjure herself. She was so happy to be moving again, she was snaking her neck and tossing her head. It was really cute to see her so happy, and really hard not to go over the 5 minute moratorium as it felt so good!

I'm out of town on a business trip now and my trainer will be amking sure she gets her procribed. She'll be doing her 30 minute power walk, on the bit, and 5 minute trot, also onthe bit, long sides only. I'm bummed to be away, but consoling myself with the fact that when I get back we'll be up to 10 minutes of long-side trotting. :) Bliss!

Thanks for reading, and if you've ever had to rehab your horse, why not share? I'd love to learn from your experience.

In Which We Experience a Setback...Injury Alert

My apologies for not posting for a while.  I was feeling a bit down and worried because Sug injured herself, and because the Boy got what he considers bad news from the doctor and has to spend more time using the cane. (The good news is there is improvement and we're almost there, however, you can imagine that a cane is NOT the coolest accessory to a 13-year-old's way of thinking.) 

Then all the horrible news from this past weekend - the trailer accident that caused the death of three of Pollard Eventing's top horses, the loss of the show jumping mare Kellemoi de Pepita to colic, and the death of of US equestrian team physician Dr. Craig Ferrell to injuries sustained in a polo accident - just depressed the heck out of me and made me feel small and horrible for having indulged in my own pity party for what are minuscule and trivial setbacks indeed.

Now I have managed to contract a stomach virus, in May, for gawd's sake. However, I am choosing to look at this as a GOOD thing, as Nature's own form of weight loss.  Yippee!  Maybe I can hang on to it long enough to lose the 10lbs I've gained since my accident! (I know, I'm not right in the head, but you knew that already.)

So, the update on the Sainted Mare:  She's got an inflamed branch in her suspensory ligament.  From what, we have no idea.  Luckily, we caught it before it became a tear or anything more serious.  She was on stall rest with hand walking for a couple days, with lots of icing and bandaging.  After Dr. Furlong diagnosed her, the vet techs drugged her up and administered a round of Extracorporeal Shock Wave Therapy (ESWT) to the injury site.

A buzzed Sug catching a buzz -- in more ways than one!

The theory behind ESWT is that it helps soft tissue and joint issues by producing an analgesic (pain killing) effect with an anti-inflammatory effect and by stimulating blood.  The vet tech holds a wand which emits shock or pressure waves, which pulse to a specific site within the injured tissue. Basically it looks and sounds like the vet tech is tasering the horse.  Hence the need for anesthesia.

Sug has been recovering nicely and we've been able to start tack walking.  Hopefully we'll be able to trot later this week after Dr. Furlong reevaluates her and she has her second round of ESWT therapy.  If all goes well (fingers crossed) we should be back in business in about a month.  Of course, there is always the risk of a relapse, since the injured ligament is always weaker, but I get the impression that this was slight enough that we don't need to worry too much.  Although I will, excessively, as that is what I do.

Am off to Walmart to buy as much Bubble Wrap as I can lay my hands on.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Somebody needs a little more massage,
and fewer Girl Scout cookies.

Not only is this a fabulous song off The Clash's Combat Rock album, but it was the main question I was asking myself tonight.  See, I tweaked my lower back last week, and it's been acting up so badly it's seriously curtailing my riding time.  Which makes me cranky.  Cranky Amy = No Fun.  Just saying.

I've been icing myself so much I swear my tuckus has frostbite.  My friend the equine massage therapist has has been kind enough to treat me with the same cold laser she uses on my mares.  This involves me dropping trou and bending over an ottoman.  I'm a little concerned.  I think she's seen more of my tush in the past week than is healthy.  I'm not sure if I should take her out to dinner or at least buy her a drink, or announce her as my SO in my Facebook status.  I've also been slathering on so much Tiger Balm and Ben Gay I smell like a cross between a Red Hot and a Wintergreen Life Saver. 

BTW - A couple of funny ha-ha moments for you to giggle at:

#1 - Be careful when applying Tiger Balm/Ben Gay, especially if your injury is anywhere near your gluteus maximus.  Also, if you wear contacts, put on mittens immediately after applying topical muscle relief and make no attempt to adjust, insert, or remove contact lenses.

#2 - If you have a TENS unit, do not attempt to use it and multitask.  This is a recipe for failure.  Case in point: I called a client and attempted to adjust the level of the output from the machine while I was waiting for the client to answer her phone.  Let's just say I overestimated the level of stimulus I was capable of handling, and shocked the beejeebus out of myself.  My poor client picked up the phone to something along the lines of  "ARGH! #@!#^%$#@!"  Thankfully she knows me well. Sigh.


My chiropractor gave me the okay to ride today if I took it easy, but really, if one has been eating Motrin and muscle relaxants like they're candy and basically parking one's derriere on a glacier, maybe the riding thing isn't a good idea.  However, the not riding thing makes me crazy-go-nuts, which is not good for me and definitely not good for my family. So, I went.  And took it easy.  Trot sets on the hills in the fields around the barn (with me posting) and canter sets (in a half seat) and a gentle meander around the fields to cool her out. 

The riding part went fine.  The getting off and driving home part, not so much.  Thank goodness for the friend and the laser -- although pity the poor neighbors who saw more than they needed to while I was bent over the ottoman.  (Note to self: Get friend curtains for Christmas.)  Looks like a few more days of chiropractic, rest, and laser treatments and no riding.

I'm guessing that means I'll be getting my horse fix by watching my DVDs, FEItv, Equestrian Coach.com, and oh heck yeah, the US Show Jumping Selection Trials on USEFNetwork.com!
In case you didn't know it, and felt like losing some productivity at work, you can access the live broadcast schedule here.  Oh, and if you choose to go the no-work route and watch the selection trials on Wednesday the 21st, stop on by Horse Junkies United for a live chat at 12:50.

Don't get me wrong, I get that as far as riding setbacks go, I've got nothing to whinge about.  After all, look at McLain Ward, Tim Stockdale, Cameron Hanley, and my blogging buddy Miranda, who broke (this seems like an inadequate term given the severity of the injury) her leg in two (TWO!) places above the ankle.  She's rocking a really sporty purple cast, but that's small comfort when you were hoping to ride in a Peter Leone Clinic at Equine Affaire Ohio.  She'll still be going to EA, but will be riding a wheelchair instead of her mare.

How do you handle it when you can't ride, for reason of injury, travel, or general life craziness?

Little Hiccup in the Fitness Challenge...

Look, Ma! I'm On The Bit!

So my attempt to drill for oil using my cranium as has put a big old monkey wrench in my fitness plans.  Previous to my prayer to the dirt gods I had embarked on a plan to get my ammy a$$ in shape.  A couple trainers I respect told me my riding would improve more quickly if my fitness/strength level improved.  I reasoned that since I spent what felt like a minor fortune on lessons, clinic, DVDs, and books devoted to improving my riding, it only made sense to take their advice.  Time to get thighs that could crack walnuts, or at least motivate a lazy mare, and a core capable of holding my position better over fences.

Things were going well at first.  On average, I ride 5 days a week when I am not traveling.  I began riding my mare without spurs, spent 5 minutes warming up trotting in two point, and incorporated lots of work without stirrups. In addition I added interval/hill work on the  treadmill or eliptical 5 days a week, and weights or Pilates 2-3 times a week.

That lasted all of 10 days, until I face planted at a horse show after jumping ahead of my mare (Literally.  A word to the wise -- do NOT do this!)  My little unintentional dismount resulted in a concussion, a sprained neck, and potentially some instability in the ligaments of the ondontoid process, which I'm told can be A VERY BAD THING if I fall off/get rear ended/do something else stupid involving trying to insert my melon into an unyielding surface. 

So, no rigorous exercise for the time being.  Not good, considering when I'm bored/sad/happy/confused or just breathing I eat.  A lot.  And I don't exactly go whole hog on the veggies, either?  I'm more of an Oreos/Pillsbury vanilla icing/Ice Cream/Cheese and Butter kind of gal.  Which ain't great if you're not moving much, you know what I mean?

So no running.  I've been traveling a lot for work, so I haven't  been riding much. When I have ridden, it's been more like really light hacking, which Sug is totally on board with.

So what's a creaky, achy, semi-breakable broad to do?  Lots of treadmill intervals on an incline, only at the walk.  I've also done what little light Yoga and Pilates I can without straining my neck.  I've gone back to doing a little light belly dancing.  Although I've pretty much lost what little improvement I'd made, one good thing is that the hill work has made my legs stronger.  Or at least they felt that way when I rode tonight. Just stronger and more secure, if that makes sense.

So I guess I'll keep up with the kinder, gentler fitness regime until I'm cleared for more intense stuff.  Backsliding is frustrating, but the fact that my legs felt a bit more secure tonight gives me some hope for eventual success.  Fingers crossed!

In Which I Attempt to Impersonate a Lawn Dart...

Official Footing Analyst...

If you, like me, subscribe to Practical Horseman magazine, odds are you might also be a devotee of George Morris' monthly column called Jumping Clinic. Each month, readers faithfully turn the pages to see which four riders he picks and what he has to say about their equitation, their horse's jumping ability, and their turnout.


Just about every month one finds George bemoaning the prevalent habit today's riders have of jumping ahead of their horses. Come to think of it, the great eventer Denny Emerson recently did a column devoted to this topic in an issue of the Chronicle of the Horse.  I've been told the thinking behind this trend is that throwing one's hands up by your mount's ears and flopping down on it's neck indicates to the judge that your horse has such a superlative jump you were jumped out of the tack, and that he's such a solid citizen you can throw the reins at him and still have a great round.

George (and others) tells us every month that this way of riding is a BAD HABIT, and UNSAFE, and A VERY BAD THING to boot. Not only does the weight of your body on the neck impede your horse's jumping effort, you potentially run the risk of serious injury as you can become a victim of momentum and are hurled, sans equine partner, over the fence. Basically, you become a human shot put. It ain't pretty, and can be downright painful.  At it's worst, it can be catastrophic.

I am offering my recent experience as a Public Service Announcement to all who may have this habit. During a recent show, after two successful clean rounds and jump offs, I experience an unplanned dismount in my third class. Basically, I jumped the first fence OK, but lost momentum coming into the second fence, an oxer. We managed to scramble over that, and headed off to the next element with no discernible increase in pace. A long distance showed up, and I asked my mare to take off.

The horse knew she did not have enough pace and was too far away to navigate the jump successfully, so she wisely put down on me and added a stride before then attempting the jump. We might have gotten over it successfully, had I not been perched up by her ears. You see, I got out of the saddle when I thought we were jumping, instead of waiting for her effort to throw me out of the tack. She did her best to try and get us over the fence, but couldn't, as she had an extra 140+ lbs of excess baggage on her neck.

So, I did my best impersonation of a lawn dart.  Flung head first into the dirt, I had a unique opportunity to test the footing at that venue first-hand.  Personally, I prefer a sand/textile blend to stone dust.  It just tastes better, and the finer grit leaves less road rash. 

Maybe you should try to ride with your mouth closed. 

Thanks, Sug.  Adding to the indignity of dirt consumption was the fact that I was wearing my sunglasses, and had that instantaneous moment of panic, that reversion back to childhood where I thought, "Oh no, I broke my glasses!"  Not, "I've broken my fool neck!"  For a moment I felt like Ralphie in A Christmas Story.  Luckily the glasses were okay. (Thank God I was wearing them or I'd have no doubt scraped up my corneas pretty well.)

About this time, approximately 2 seconds after impact, I noticed Sug's bridle hit the dust in front of us, and Sug decided to hop on over to my side of the fence to inquire as to my health.  She clambered over very carefully as not to disturb me and stood next to me, waiting for my trainer to come and clear up the carnage.

You looked as though you might be meditating.  I didn't wish to interrupt.

Thank you, Sug.  Anyway, my trainer came over, and while she was getting Sug's bridle back on we did a quick status check and determined I had all my teeth (although they were black with grit) and that I knew what year it was and who the President was.  Thankfully no one asked me to name a Cabinet member, as I don't think I've ever been able to do that.  On our way out of the ring, I did a quick Ta-Da to acknowledge the support from the folks clapping at ringside,  accepted an ice bag and a Popsicle from the medics, and got Sug back to the trailer.

I was lucky this time, but you can be darn sure we'll be going back to the drawing board and working on eradicating that bad habit of jumping ahead.  Am guessing I've got lots more no stirrup work -- which is going to be good for that fitness challenge I gave myself.

Oh yeah, and darn good thing I had my helmet on.  The brim and front part of the helmet absorbed some of the impact and prevented my face from hitting the ground harder than it did, and the back padding that covers the nape of the neck prevented my head from snapping back as far as it could have.

If you want a good giggle, my stellar dismount was caught on film.  I think it deserves a 10!