Status Update...

I wrote this on the plane coming home from a business trip.  Seems 6 hours trapped in a plane was the only time I could find to write lately. Yikes!

Greetings from 36,000 feet.  I'm flying home from a business trip to Palm Desert, CA, and given the temps in NJ (aka Siberia) I've never hoped so much for a canceled/delayed flight in my life.  The fabulous weather and location were certainly a draw, but I was really hoping to have an extra day so I could play hooky and go down to HITS Thermal to visit a friend and check out the horse show there.  Yep, the horse addict while traveling - always on the lookout for something that will provide that equine fix we need so badly.

Many of you were kind enough to reach out after I'd posted my frustrations with the interim training situation at my barn, and I hope you'll forgive me for taking so long to provide an update.  Due to the arctic weather we have not been doing much riding and most of our lessons have been cancelled, but I have had two more since I wrote that last post and there's been some improvement.

I think I was finally able to communicate with her the health issue I'm having and how it impacts my riding. Basically, I'm having trouble with the nerves in my spine and legs which result in tingling, burning and weakness from my lower back downwards.  You know when your foot falls asleep and you try to stand on it?  Some days I feel that way all day.  Usually when that happens I'll be riding along and POOF! My legs stop working, or my angle just collapses and feels like it's snapping off.  So yeah, getting weight into my heels is a secondary concern at the point, you know what I'm saying? I'm working with a neurologist and we're trying to find the right meds and dosage and I am try to do some PT to keep up some semblance of strength, but yeah, it ain't making the riding thing any easier.

As a result T2 has been more understanding of what I actually can accomplish and what expectations we need to alter.  She still feels like my position needs a complete overhaul but I'm feeling like she's more willing to concentrate on one or two issues at a time, not 20.  The last 2 lessons were also better in that I felt she was more willing to point out when I was doing something correct or getting close to it.  I don't mind a coach who has high expectations and demands a lot from me, as I expect a lot from myself.  However, even a smidge of positive feedback goes a long way, don't you think?

I still feel uncomfortable when I'm in the position she wants me in, but I also understand that any new habit feels funky until you develop new muscle memory.  My legs feel too far back, and she has me in such a forward seat that I feel like show jumper Rich Fellers.  I love the man and his feisty little chestnut stallion Flexible, and he's a master at that kind of forward ride. I'm a bit busty and feel like I'm going to tip forward onto Sug's neck, complete with a boob hanging on each side of it. (Lovely mental picture, no?)  Of course I realize this means that I have absolutely no base of support in my leg and that my core strength is non-existent.  Sigh.  Guess I'd better see when the local Y is offering their Pilates classes...

Rich Fellers and Flexible winning the 2012 Rolex World Cup Finals

So the position still feels wrong, but it sounds more like the classic, George-Morris- advocated forward seat.  The way she has me bending Sug feels odd as well. She has me really using the inside rein to pull Sug's head around to get more of a bend, and I was always taught to turn more off the legs and less off the hands.  She's asking me to do things this way because she feels Sug is stiff through the neck and she's asking me to exaggerate the bend, but that brings me to the thing that really concerns me: Sug seems as uncomfortable in the new situation as I do.  Where before she'd round her back and move forward onto the bit in a relaxed way, now she goes with her back inverted and head in the air and just feels uncomfortable and tense

T2 has me riding with my hands much higher and in front of the withers, and I do see where it's correct and  it does look like there's a straight line from hand to bit.  I also think of all the George Morris videos and clinics I've watched where he stresses never lowering the hands, especially if the horse fights the contact. And I know that others have occasionally told me to get my hands "out of my lap" before,  so I can accept that this is a valid criticism.  The part that confuses me is that Sug never had a problem with taking contact before.  I'd always thought it felt as though she had 3-5 pounds of contact in my hands.  Now it feels like we have no contact. I know that GM advocates continuing to keep your hands high and pushing through from your legs waiting the horse out, but I'm riding like this as consistently as I can now and Sug has yet to drop her head and round up for me.

So while it seems like things are getting better in some respects, I'm still  on-the-fence about others.  I can absolutely accept that I'm not the world's best rider and have bad habits and that I need a ton of help, but again, trainers like Bernie Traurig, Eric Horgan, and Jeff Cook never made as many corrections when I rode with them. (In Bernie and Jeff's case that could be because they only had me for 3 days at a time and they decided there was only so much they could do in that short timeframe.  Eric's seen me multiple times, and has no compunction about telling a rider if something's amiss, so hence my confusion).     

I can see T2 is having a VERY positive effect on the kids, so I feel I have to believe she has a lot to offer me.  I do also recognize that Sug could be feeling tense and unhappy because things are different and difficult for her, and not because the change is harming or hurting her in any way.

So I guess the upshot of this update is that there has been slight improvement, but still not enough experience to say, "Yeah, this is gonna be great!" or "Nope, this is not a fit for us and it's time to move on."  So I guess we're gonna keep at it for the foreseeable future unless something changes drastically.

If you've managed to stay with me all the way through this, God love ya!  You are a tremendously patient soul, and I thank you.  If you have any insights to offer, please feel free to do so, even if it's to tell me to "Suck it up, Buttercup!"

Hope all is well in your world and thanks for sharing mine with me!

Sweetest. Mare. Ever.

Sugar kisses from days gone by.

The way I heard it told, when Sugar was imported from Holland she was given the name barn name "Sugar" because she was a big sweetie and because her registered name, Obottie, just doesn't roll off the tongue.

Time after time she's shown why she she deserved her name, and today was no exception.  When I get to the barn and enter her stall she likes to say hello, sniff me up a bit, and lick me.  " Kindof like the equine version of "Hello.  How was your day?  What have you been up to?" She doesn't like to have her halter put on or her feet picked until we've gone through a proper hello.  Today when I walked in we went through the normal routine and even after 5 minutes of her licking and me scratching her itchy bits she wasn't ready to get started.  She wanted to keep licking.  She licked my hands, then my breeches, then she started licking my jacket and pulling my zipper up and down.  I laughed and let her do what she wanted for about 10 minutes.

When I went to pick out her feet, she swiveled her head and blocked me, eyeing me sideways.  I tried to approach from the other side, and her head swiveled around to block me from that side as well.  She wasn't being aggressive, she was just telling me she wasn't ready to get down to business yet.  Okeydokey, I thought, we can play some more.  So I made a move to go back to her left side, and she blocked me, looking almost like a cutting horse with a cow.  I moved to the right, and she blocked me again.  No pinned ears, no hard eye, just a clear communication that she wanted to mess around.  So I played my roll, trying to get around her and letting her block my attempts.  I'd feint right and then juke left, and she'd swivel her big ol' head to keep me at bay.  I was laughing like a loon, having a blast just goofing around with her.  We must have played like that for close to half an hour.

I was a little tense when I got to the barn, and I think Sug knew it.  She's done things like this before; once when Noah was upset over some things at school she kept him in her stall and licked him silly for about 20 minutes until he was helpless with giggles. Once she was satisfied that he was fine she went back to eating her hay.

We had a nice ride, and a few minutes before we finished I noticed that the children's pony camp had come in to the viewing room and were pressed up against the window watching the riders.  I waved at them, and when I left the ring I stopped and stuck my head into the viewing room and asked if anyone wanted to pet a very sweet horse.  Quick as a wink 10 wee ones, probably none of them more than 6 years in age, lined up ready to pet the Sainted Mare.

It was one little girl's birthday, so of course she was first in line.  I showed her how to say hi to Sug, with her hand held out, palm up as if she were giving Sug a treat. I told her that Sug likes to give kisses, so to be prepared to feel a tickle wet tongue.  The little girl stepped up and shyly he'd her hand up.  Sug's big head came down and she gently sniffed the little hand, the stuck her tongue out and licked.  This elected giggles and ear-to-ear grin.  She moved off so the next child could meet Sug, and one by one each little cherub stepped up and was greeted with a kiss.  It was simply precious.

Any one of them could have walked under Sug's belly, they were so small, and Sug must have looked enormous to them.  None appeared scared though, and I imagine it was because of how gentle she was with them.  When I moved the walk her away she pulled back and turned, putting her head down and making one last sweep of kisses down the lineup of little ones.  They giggled, and some even pressed kisses on the velvet nose in front of them.

I was so very proud of her, and amazed all over again at how lucky I am to have such an amazing creature.  My big mare positively made those children's day, and I'd wager instilled a lasting appreciation for horses in them as well.

A Slice of Humble Pie...

Warning: There's a bit of a whine coming up. If that's not your cup of tea, or you're just not in the mood for it, feel free to skip this post.  No hard feelings.  Really.

It's winter, which means that our trainer heads South for warmer climates.  Budget constraints, and educational and employment obligations keep us up North, freezing our tuckuses off.  No biggie.  As my Nana always said, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Our trainer made arrangements for another trainer to teach us while she's away.  Before she left she had this interim trainer come and give the kids lessons so we'd have a sense of what to look forward to.  I was impressed by the new trainer's attention to basics and felt our time with her would be a positive one for the three of us.

Fast forward to last week, our first lesson.  Holy crap, what an eye-opener that was!  I went in to the lesson expecting to get some correction for bad habits.  What I did not expect was to come out of the lesson feeling like the world's worst rider ever.  Not that I feel I'm a particularly good rider, but I did feel I could be considered to be fairly adequate.  Let me tell you, I was disabused of that notion, fast and in a hurry!  I knew I had issues, but did not expect to have more than my kid did. (And yes, I am completely aware that makes me sound like the world's worst mother, but hey, I'm trying to be honest here, and you guys know I've never been afraid to admit I'm far from perfect.)

Sophie and I rode together, and as expected the new trainer, who will henceforth be known as T2, commented on and corrected a few of her form faults, such as her hand carriage and her leg position. Now, normally I'd have considered myself a slightly better rider than my kids.  If you'd seen our joint lesson last week, you'd have thought Sophie was the accomplished rider and I was the rank beginner.  My legs were in the wrong position, my hands were a nightmare, my seat was too heavy, my elbows locked, and my body moved way too much, like a sack of spastic potatoes, while I was jumping.  There was a whole laundry list of other issues as well, but I can't remember them all.

On top of that, T2 did not like Sugar at all.  She thought Sug was heavy on the forehand, stiff as a board, and unwilling to work.  I'll admit I actually took this worse than I did T2's assessment of my own skills.  I may suck, but every trainer I have ever had has loved Sug, finding her supple, light in the hand, and extremely willing willing to work.  All of them have commented that of the horses they had to ride in the course of their day, Sugar was one they looked forward to sitting on.

When I've ridden in clinics before, every clinician (Bernie Traurig, Jeff Cook, and Eric Horgan) have all loved my mare.  One of those clinicians is an Olympian, one was a top show jumper who won numerous grands prix and represented the US on many Nation's Cup teams, and the other was assistant trainer to George Morris for a number of years, a successful rider in his own right, and a frequent contributor to Practical Horseman magazine.  My point here is that is these guys liked Sug, so she couldn't be too bad, right?

To say I was a bit taken aback is an understatement.  And yeah, I realize my ego was bruised, and yes, I know I was in a strop because of her assessment of my horse.  I couldn't figure out if this lady just didn't like me for some reason or if I truly do suck, in which case, why didn't any of my other trainers point this fact out to me? Had they just given up, feeling I was beyond help? Is T2 right in her assessment of me and my other trainers did me a disservice by allowing me to continue as I had been? Or is she wrong and the other trainers right?  I had some serious soul searching to do, and I needed to try to take my ego and outraged horse-mama self out of the equation and look at the reality of the situation.

The way I saw it, I had a couple choices:

1)  I could say we were not a fit and discontinue working with her while my kids my kids continued to lesson with her.  After all, I'd only be on my own for a couple months.  Not ideal, but hey, you can say that life is too short to deal with something that doesn't make you happy or makes you  uncomfortable.  Especially as riding is supposed to be fun.

~OR~

2) I could do a couple more lessons with her, see what happened, see if there was improvement, and reassess from that point.  I was a swimmer in college, and played softball, basketball, and soccer during my school days.  I know that anytime a coach adjusted my stroke, swing, shot or kick it felt awkward as hell for a while until I broke my bad habit and retrained my muscle memory.   I could tell myself that T2 has trained many people in our area successfully, so odds are she has something to teach me.

I'm going with option 2, at least for the moment.  My bruised ego and I will stick it out for a while and see what happens.  Option 1 feels too much like giving up and quitting to me, and that's not how I roll or what I want to model for my kids.  I don't want them to think that when things are different or uncomfortable that you just get to throw in the towel. I'm willing to concede that I'm having an issue because this situation is uncomfortable for me, and that there is a very real possibility there may be something positive that will come of this.  So I'm hanging in there for now.

I've since had another lesson, and while I still felt like a remedial rider, there was some improvement.  More importantly, I've seen how her attention to detail has improved the kids' riding, so if she can help them, well, I have to believe she can help me.  I have another lesson today, and I guess I'd say I am cautiously optimistic.

Many thanks to those of you who read through this whole whine and for allowing me to self-therapize.  I'll keep you posted on how this goes.  Feel free to comment with your thoughts, even if it's just to tell me to pull my big girl pants up. I can take it.

A Master Reading List...

A little light reading.

I am addicted to horses.  I spend as much time as I can with them.  When I am not with them I like to watch them, either on any of over 40 DVDs I have, or my FEI TV subscription, or on USEF Network.  When I am not watching them, I am reading about them, either in the 5 magazines I subscribe to, or in one of the 30+ books I own, or on various and sundry websites.

Single-minded much?  One-dimensional?  Maybe.  However, when you are passionate about something you immerse yourself in it as much as possible, right?

Anyway, for Christmas I received several Barnes & Noble gift cards, and was messing about on the internet researching equestrian books on which to spend them.

While I was touring the Interwebz, I came across these articles in The Horse magazine, an Australian publication.  If you're anything like me and love to read about horses and the great equestrian masters, you might enjoy them as much as I did.

Happy reading!

Four Show Jumping Masters Part 1: George Morris

Four Show Jumping Masters Part 2: William Steinkraus

Four Show Jumping Masters Part 3: Bertalan De Nemethy

Four Show Jumping Masters Part 4: Gordon Wright

Holiday Wishes and Catching Up...

OK, so I'm a teeeensy bit late with the holiday wishes.  I hope you know I truly mean them.  I totally do!  I'm just really late in expressing it.  The pic above is this year's holiday card.  It's the first one since 2008 that does not have Sug in it.  We normally do a shot of the whole family, but those just did not come out this year. :(  This one was not too horrible, but it wasn't right to have the kids, me and the horses on the card and not the hubby - well, you know how well that would have gone off.

Did y'all have a good holiday season?  Looking forward to ringing in the New Year?  I have to admit, I've never been a fan of New Year's.  Midnight is waaaaaaayyyy to late for me to stay up, and you know, I just don't get the whole big run-up to one second and then... pffffffffffttttttt!  The air is immediately out of that balloon.  We are actually going out for the first time in forever.  Normally if we do go out, it's to a neighbor's place.  This time we're going to the home of some barn friends.  Their daughter is Sophie's age and the two are inseparable.  I hear rumors there will be a hefty amount of champagne.  Yippeeeeeee!

So here's what's been going on since we last chatted.  We've been doing some horse showing.  Yeah, I know, what dope starts seriously horse showing in the middle of a Northeast winter?!  This dope, that's who!  My trainer has had me doing 2'6" hunter and eq classes because she knows how stressed I get doing the 3' jumpers.  She wants me to get more show miles and feels that the lower level hunter and eq classes offer courses that are easier to memorize, taking that little stressor off my plate.  She feels that often trainers put students in classes they really are not ready for, and wants me to get to a place where I am relaxed and confident and bored silly before we move up.  The funny thing is that Sug is not a hunter type horse, and while it pains me to admit it, I am definitely not an equitation rider.

To add an element of excitement to things, I've signed up for the Marshall & Sterling league.  The plan is for me  to try to qualify for the year end finals at HITS-on-the-Hudson in New York.  I'm thinking of it as a smaller, lower version of the Big Eq,  It's got tests and everything, like the Big Eq classes have.  It's a challenge for us, because Sug is a jumper, and feels that trotting a fence or coming to a halt is an egregious waste of time.

Our first show around Halloween was less than successful.  Well, in one way it was.  We got out there, and we survived.  BONUS!  The second show was just Sophie and me, and was a great time, as it was just me and my daughter hanging out with our ponies.  We both rode pretty well, but more importantly, we spent a lot of quality time just chill in' with each other and James and Sug.  We wound up as champions of our respective divisions, but really, the best part of the day was just being together.

Here's a vid from our medal class.  Not perfect by a long shot, but we didn't totally embarrass ourselves, so I'm pleased.  Sug was so funny, she clearly thought that after the trot fences we were done.

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A couple of weeks after that Noah and I did a show in Gardnertown, NY.  So I had another really cool day hanging out with my other kid and our ponies.  James was a good boy for Noah and they got some nice ribbons.  Sug was her usually Sainted Mare self, and several people told me how much they liked her.  (Don't you love when people compliment your horse?  It's like when they compliment your kids.)  We did pretty well, too.  I beat Noah in the hack (crazy, as James is more of a true hunter than Sug) and then the Boy went and beat me in the M&S medal class, the one I'm trying to qualify for!  I was proud and a bit put out at the same time.

Fast forward to the weekend after Christmas.  Soph and I showed at Old Salem Farm in New York.  Holy crap, is that place ever nice!!!  I mean, really, it's crazy when most of the barns we show at are nicer than my house!  Sophie and James were so pretty together; they just seemed to flow confidently around the ring, both looking so relaxed and at ease.  Several people in the in-gate area commented on her riding and what a good boy James was (big cheer for the OTTBs out there!) and I was so proud!  They were champions of the Pre-Children's Hunter division!!!  At Old Salem Farm, no less!

Sug and I did not have a bad showing.  We didn't do as well as Sophie did, but we got some decent ribbons.  Our flow and rhythm around the course is getting better; we're not as choppy.  I'm getting better about putting my Big Girl pants and doing the numbers down the lines.  Sug doesn't have a big step, so it feels like we are going hell-for-leather and that feels a bit precarious to me.  I don't think I'll ever understand why you have to do a pre-determined amount of strides.  Why kill yourself for 4 strides when you can do a lovely flowing 5?  Whatever, I'm getting better.  It's so funny - at both shows people complimented Sug, telling me how much she helps me out, which says a lot about what a doll she is, and also about my riding! LOL!

So that about brings us up to date.

The Human Calculator...

One of those "Jesus, take the wheel" distances.

"So much for things going well."  That's what I was thinking during my lesson last week.  Recently my lessons had been going well, I had a great session with my favorite clinician,  and then we did well at a show.  And by that I mean that I rode pretty well, not just that I got nice ribbons.  So, quite frankly, I was  expecting that things would be on an upswing.

What's that they say about pride going before a fall?  Not that I had a fall, but I couldn't find a distance if you gave me a ruler and a GPS.  I was adding or subtracting strides like it was my job, hence the human calculator comment. (Wish I could say I made that up, but I saw it on a COTH Form and laughed so much it stuck with me). I would either chip in and floss my teeth with her mane, or leave out a stride and hope she sprouted wings.  God bless her, The Sainted Mare has a very good sense of humor, and she did her best to deal with every crap distance I got her to.

Frankly, I wouldn't have blamed her if she had decided she'd had enough and simply stopped and dropped me on my butt when I got her to yet another difficult distance.  I have no idea why some days I can find a rhythm and pace and other days I pickpickpick in the hopes of finding distance, or I gun her and find myself asking her to leave hopelessly long.

I was starting to feel like Charlie Brown kicking the football.  You know: Good approach, get to that last crucial moment and...AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!  Clearly I don't have Lucy to contend with, but I'm sure you get my drift.

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So anyway, there I was, trying and failing and cussing like a sailor.  I was sharing the lesson with my daughter and on the car ride home she said to me, "Mom, you were really frustrated.  I could tell, because I've never heard some of those words before!"  Stellar parenting moment.  Really, and the nominee for Mother of the Year is...NOT ME.

Oh well, onwards and upwards.  Try, try again.  And again.  And again.  And again............

Return of the Magic Canter...

Since my last post some fun things have happened.  One of my favorite clinicians, Eric Horgan, was in town and my friend Wendy set up a lesson for me.   If you've been following AWIP for a while, you've maybe read about some of my experiences with Eric's teaching. Have you ever had a trainer who just made everything seem easy?  Who cuts through all the confusing mumbo-jumbo and deconstructs things so what seemed difficult yesterday seems incredibly simple today?  Eric Horgan is that teacher for me.

A friend and I rode while Wendy and another friend, Gail, took video.  This was something new, but I could see the potential upsides. So Dawn and I warmed up like we normally would while Eric watched and the ladies filmed.  After we were done, Eric had us come to the center of the ring to tell him what we felt during the warm up, and then he told us what he saw.  He felt that Sug was not engaging that big ol' engine she's got.  He had Wendy show me a clip of her trot where he pointed out that her hind legs were not truly coming underneath and carrying her.  He then showed me clips of her canter.  The canter to the left seemed lackadaisical, while the canter on the right lead had more punch because her inside hind leg was more active. Being able to see what Eric saw while watching the video was amazing.  You know, that whole picture-worth-1000-words thing.

Eric then asked us to jump a small vertical off both leads.  The reason behind this was that our while our warm up gave him a sense of what we needed to work on, watching us jump a bit would confirm some things and possibly show him some other weaknesses.  Our warm up jumps pretty much established that we needed to get Sug's engine firing, and that we had (no surprise) a harder time landing the left lead than the right.

Eric's fix for us was shoulder-in, or what he called walk-with-bend.  We worked on that down the long side, with Eric telling me when to activate my inside leg aid, when to relax the inside rein, and when to give on the outside.  He reminded me to turn my shoulders so that they mirrored hers while at the same time keeping my hips facing forward like hers.  I mean, I know I should be doing those things, but you know how sometimes what you know in your head isn't what your body does. At one point he took the controls from me -- walking beside me and handling the reins and so I could concentrate on what he told me to do with my seat and leg aids. He'd tell me to do one simple thing, and BAM!  Sug would round up and step under, or bend around my inside leg more.

Once I got to doing the walk-with-bend thing pretty well, he'd have me "take her for a test drive" by asking for the trot.  Her walk to trot transitions out of the WWB exercise were sparkling, crisp and powerful  We had a working trot with impulsion and purpose.  When he had us due WWB into a canter depart, she bounded into the canter with such power it almost felt like she was bucking into it.

Now that we were working with impulsion, we began jumping.  Of course I went into what I call "calculator mode" -- adding and adding and choking up on her, basically killing all the impulsion we just created.  Forehead, meet palm.  Smack!  Eric told me to get out on the rail and get my "magic canter". Once I did, then and only then was I allowed to approach the jump.  As we bounded down to the fence, Eric repeated "The canter, the canter, the canter" in a hypnotic rhythm, effectively keeping me in the on the pace I needed.

Now, I know what you're thinking: I could just count strides or sing the Alphabet song to keep myself on a rhythm.  Nope.  I'm rhythm challenged, and apparently unable to multitask.  Math is hard enough as it is.  Trying to do math while remembering to keep my heels down, keep her straight, and not jump ahead - well, that's damn near impossible for this bear of little brain.  Clearly I need to win the lottery so I can pay Eric to do nothing but give me lessons and say "The canter, the canter, the canter" as I ride to every fence.

Not only was I jumping well, Eric had me jumping bigger than I typically do.  He has a way of giving you courage - not Dutch courage, but the kind that comes from doing something right and knowing deep down you can do it again or do something even better.  And off I went to jump a line and a bending line, feeling like "Hey, we got this, no problemo."  The video below is how it worked out.


 
I might not be ready for any Big Eq finals, and at some points I cringe thinking I look like a monkey humping a football, but hey, it's a start..

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