Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Jesus Take The Wheel: Adventures In Learning to Trailer (Part One)

Hide your women and children!

So I have this trailer now.  It’s no longer mired in ice, so I’ve begun taking it out to practice, with the idea being that I should get as many mistakes as I can out of the way before I actually put live animals in there. 

A few folks told me to just hook the thing up and go out and practice. That wasn’t going to work for me. The way I saw it, that’s not how I learned to drive in the first place. (Here are the keys, Aim. Have at it! The highway’s just down the road on your right.)  I wanted someone who knew what they were doing with me for the first few times. 
My friend Mary-Ann went with me the first time, bless her brave heart.  The kids and I had been practicing hooking the trailer, so by the time she got to the barn Noah and I had hooked up and ready to go.  We made it down and out of the long driveway with no trouble (kinda weird not to be able to see anything but white metal in your rear view mirror) and out on to the closest main road.  I was busy congratulating myself for making the sharp uphill turn it and when I heard Mary-Ann say, “The speed limit’s 50. You have to do at least 50.”

Now, I’ve never had that kind of issue with speed limits before.  Mostly I have to slow down to get to the posted limit. I don’ recall ever needing to speed up.  However, dragging a big box around made me a little conservative, so every now and then you’d hear Noah or Mary-Ann remind me to speed up until finally Mary-Ann said in a tone that brooked no argument, “No, really.  You have to go 50. Now. Step on the gas pedal.”
We drove over to a local office campus with several large parking lots, figuring since it was a Saturday there would be ample room to practice backing and turning without too many casualties. The lot was wide open so I worked on backing up into parking spots. We were just about to start with K-turns when a little white-haired man in possession of a uniform and a very official attitude came out and asked us to leave the premises. I’m not sure why, but this struck us as hysterical for some reason. 

After our eviction we got on the highway for a bit, and then popped off to go to a road that Mary-Ann said was perfect for working on K-turns. It was basically shaped like a T, and Mary-Ann had me stop on the top-left side of the T and back the trailer down the long stem of the T, then pull up to the right so I was straight on the top right side of the T, and then back the trailer down from that way.  This did not go well. At all.  I sucked.  I think I might have tried to do this about 20 times in each direction to no avail. Which made me tense.   And flustered.  And irritable.  My vocabulary was getting more colorful by the second, and I was incorporating my Higher Power’s name in expressions that could have gotten me smoked by a lightning bolt had said Higher Power been paying attention. Mary-Ann did her best to remain patient with me and Noah did his best to avoid laughing. (Smart Boy).
Finally I half-assed it in a way that we could call marginally successful and we left it at that.  We got back to the barn, unhooked the trailer, and heaved huge sighs of relief. Mary-Ann headed home ( and probably poured herself a large adult beverage) and Noah and I drove home, feeling that we had a good number of successes and knew what we needed to do to get better.

More about the 'getting better' stuff to come.

11 comments:

  1. You are a brave woman! The thought of driving a trailer terrifies me.

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    1. It terrifies me too! LOL But since my accident with Sug I'm feeling like I need face my fears and to do the things I've always wanted to do. Doesn't mean I'm not a white knuckled mess.

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    1. :) Thanks, Malin! Maybe one day I'll trailer out your way....

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  3. LMAO...several years ago I allowed my husband to drive while hauling to show, a planned to be 7 hour trip, son was doing JR/YR and I was doing the AA after his show. I never allow hub to drive but we were pulling out at 4am so what the hay...there was a lot of lecturing on how I expected this to go, some direction and a stern explanation that I loved the package in the big white can so much more than the ones in the red truck, we left the home front I drifted off for a few minute to wake to find my husband toodling down I-75 at get this 35 miles an hour... after two hours of reminding him we need to be somewhere in this century I yelled pull over... and took over. I make him practice often but have never allowed him to drive again.

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    1. OMG, that cracked me up! I could TOTALLY see my husband doing this, and I could absolutely see myself giving him the same speech you gave yours. Thanks so much for the giggle

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  4. It'll get better I promise! Just takes lots of practice. And then we can go on adventures :)

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  5. It's definitely a learned skill. I want to improve my backing, but I'm also terrified I'll wreck someone else's trailer. Someday, I will practice ALL THE TIME when I have my own.

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  6. haha oh man... it really is unexpectedly hard... but sounds like you're well on your way to making it second nature! :)

    i definitely have to work to maintain the speed limit too (and not bc i'm going to fast either haha). and perhaps the hardest thing is figuring out how far forward i need to pull in order to back into a certain place. it's always farther forward than i think, and apparently gets farther and farther forward with bigger trailers (mine is tiny). good luck and happy travels!

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  7. Oh man, I am NOT looking forward to the 'learning to drive a trailer' phase. Can I just skip right to the 'drives a trailer like a pro' part?!

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