I've been looking for a new horse. I mean, I've been looking for a while now, but before it was more like a kinda/sorta/maybe it'll happen/waiting for the right one to fall in my lap (not literally, I bruise like a peach). I still think it'll happen as it's supposed to happen, but am now at the point where I'm proactively putting myself in a place to make it happen.That being said, I haven't wanted to blog about it. It just feels weird. Maybe it's because it feels like I'm cheating on Sug by taking a step that concretely places her in the past. Yes, I do know she is in the past, but there's a difference between accepting a fact and beating your head against the brick wall of it.
Maybe it's because I don't want to announce anything until it's a done deal. Maybe because blogging about it makes it real. Maybe I'm afraid that people will say something negative. I'm not really sure what the heck my issue is, exactly, but that's probably the short list.
So I've found a horse that I like a lot. He's in my barn, and I've had the opportunity to lesson on him and hack on him several times. He's young, and very green in many ways, but he has a fabulous brain and a very good sense of humor, which is the main characteristic I'm looking for. He's great in the ring, willingly jumps anything you point him at and doesn't hold a grudge if you botch the distance, hit him in the mouth, or lose balance and crash down on his back. He's very happy to hack out in the field or go on trails. And he loves people, and clearly want to be someone's pocket pony.
That being said, I've been over-analyzing things to death, which is what I do. About everything. Often to the point of paralysis. I'm doing that now about this horse.
A friend of mine has been a wonderful sounding board throughout this whole process, listening as I go through my feelings: I'm used to older, more educated horses; would I be able to teach a young horse? I'm in a good program and would have the support of my trainer and barn manager and others to guide me through the process, so that's a plus. Would I have the patience to take my time and teach him? I've been pretty good with my kids, but a 1200lb child is a bit different. I mean, I'm used to getting on and being able to do a leg yield. Will I have the patience and willingness to teach a horse how to do a leg yield? Or will I get frustrated easily because I'm trying to do a leg yield and he's not understanding what I'm asking?
My concerns are more about my abilities, or lack thereof, not about the horse's. I want us both to be happy together, and we won't be if one of us is constantly worried or frustrated. If I get him I want to raise him right, to be a good parent. Make sense? I mean, we all make mistakes as parents, but to my way of thinking the goal is to raise kids that needed less therapy than you did. I don't want him needing the equine equivalent of Dr. Phil.
I like this young boy a great deal, but haven't yet fallen in love with him. And part of me has bought in to the whole romance novel/Hallmark "You'll know when it's right" crapola. However, I did not love Sug when I first tried her. It was more of a "She's nice, very forgiving, this could be a good match for a year's lease." I didn't fall in love with her immediately, and even after I leased her for a year and loved her to pieces I waffled about buying her. I worried that she was older and that I wouldn't have time with her, that she'd be plagued with senior horse issues and need a fortune in management, yadda yadda yadda. I mean, if I waffled about her, a horse I'd had and loved for the better part of a year, it's okay to waffle about a horse I've only really known a couple weeks, right?
So I've gone on and on about this with my friend. Most recently we discussed the topic while we were at the local grocery store picking up items we needed for dinner. We were in the produce aisle, and I was trying to choose the right bag of romaine hearts. My daughter likes romaine hearts, as do I, but I don't like my lettuce too leafy. I like it crisp. So finding the bag with the right ratio of green leafy stuff to crispy bits meant I picked up damn near every bag to examine it to the nth degree. The entire lettuce-choosing process took about 10 minutes, during which time my friend stood patiently, taking it all in.
I was still going back and forth about this horse when we were back at the house preparing dinner, dissecting every tidbit of info I knew about this sweet boy from every angle I possibly could. Finally I just looked at my friend and said something along the lines of, "I just don't know what to do. I suck at making quick decisions."
"I know," she said. "I've seen you buy lettuce."
Well, there you have it.
It's so hard to start over and KNOW that you are making the right choice!
ReplyDeleteMy sister runs barrels professionally and she was just talking about how almost every horse she buys, she has that moment of regret till she rides them enough to fall in love :)
I am sure that you will make a great choice :)
OMG, Karley, thank you so much for sharing that!! That describes how I feel so perfectly! I do that with all big life decisions, and then find that after I realx and live with them, all is well. But it would be lovely to avoid that moment of regret. LOL
DeleteI thought I was the only one who agonized over produce. I blame it on being a Libra always weighing the options...
ReplyDeleteIf it were me I would think of it this way... If I went to the barn one day and he was not there (as in someone else bought him and whisked him away) how would you feel? Panicked "what the hell was I thinking" or would you just feel it was not meant to be.
Also how do the kids feel about him?
I'm a Sagittarius, so now sure what that says about my produce issues. I go to one store for meat and produce and another for everything else. Batcrap crazy? You bet! I like your thinking. I would be disappointed and probably have done the "what did I miss out on" thing for a while. The kids like him a lot.
DeleteIs it possible to do a year lease on the young one? Also, the good news is that if you're in a program, the greens will (I'm assuming) be getting training rides, so you'll have some help in installing all the necessary buttons like leg yields. PS, I think Sug would be happy that you found a new family member. She knows you're not replacing her ☺️
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lindsay. I think Sug is happy for me. I think she'd let me know on some level if this were a mistake. No possibility of leasing- the owner needs an immediate sale. And yes, I'll have a lot of help raising baby horse, so I'm thinking all will be well.
DeleteIt's very hard to buy a new horse while your heart still belongs to your last one. The comparisons are inevitable and difficult. When my wonderful Trakehner died suddenly a few years ago, I considered myself lucky that I already owned my TB, because if I'd had to go pick out a new horse, it would have taken me years! Freedom is nothing like Kroni and that was probably good because it made comparisons difficult. I learned to love him for himself and he blossomed when he became the center of attention. My newish draft X mare is also nothing like the other two and I actually didn't like her much at first. It took some time to feel like we were a team. I wish you luck with your search. The horse you describe sounds lovely (and I wouldn't worry about him being green, it's the personality that matters) but I know how hard it is to take the leap.
ReplyDeleteLiz, thank you so much for taking the time to comment. That's absolutely been my fear - the whole comparison thing. I hear what you're saying. It's a good thing that Indy is nothing like Sug, because it won't allow for any head-to-head comparisons. I'll know going in that it will be a completely different situation. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts, hearing other people's input really helps.
DeleteA couple assorted thoughts:
ReplyDelete1) I am totally not superstitious except about jinxes. Thus, if something might work out but isn't a done deal, I totally get avoiding talking about it in public.
2) Sometimes you know when it's right. I did with Cuna. Sometimes you acknowledge that it should work and everyone around you is supportive, and just leap in. That's how it was with Courage.
Both routes can work ok. :-) Good luck!
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. It's nice when people say, "Oh yeah, I get that," because sometimes you do feel as if you're the only one thinking that way. And you're experiences with Cuna and Courage make me feel better, like it doesn't happen only one way.
DeleteI'm glad to hear I make good sounding board! I think no matter what you decide, you have an excellent support system in place and you will do your best to do a great job, and have a great time doing it.
ReplyDeleteOf course you make an excellent sounding board! And yes, these things do take a village. Some of us need bigger villages than others, but if the Powers That Be will it, it'll be a good journey.
DeleteI don't think that you need to be in love with a horse to buy it. I certainly wasn't. It just has to feel right.
ReplyDeleteBuy that lettuce and enjoy the salad:)
ReplyDeleteLol. So having bought a horse that was a little greener than thought I get your worries. But really, I knew that part of that was me being able to hand over the reins to trainer when i couldnt teach something adequately. And stepping up to do the rest. I think as long as you have help and he's got a good personality then it sounds great.
ReplyDelete