Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Getting My Goat...

The other day Noah and I were driving down to the barn.  Noah has his driver's permit and was behind the wheel, so for a good portion of the ride any conversation was limited to my observations about his efforts.

Once I'd lowered my heart rate and breathing and felt sufficiently confident that we were not likely to die, we started talking about less life and death stuff, like how our weeks were going.  Noah is very low-content, and will never use 12 words if 2 will suffice, so his recap took about a minute and a half.  It went something like this, "I went to school; it sucked. I had cross country practice and two meets.  I lowered my time in both.  I have to work Friday night." 

My recap was a bit more long-winded. (I am a high content person.  When I can say something in 2 words, I'll still use 50.  I blathered on about work, the amount of travel I had to do, the questionable decisions being made by my superiors, whether or not I should buy the horse I was considering, my frustration with my health issues, what to make for dinner that night, and all the assorted flotsam and jetsam rolling about in my overactive little brain.

(Note: If you want someone to listen to your troubles and pat your hand and say "Poor baby" Noah is not your guy.  Emotion is not his thing.  His response is to an emotional outpouring is normally more likely to be something between Mr. Spock's "That is highly illogical" or "Suck it up, Buttercup.")

After a while I stopped my verbal vomiting and the car was quiet.  Out of nowhere, Noah says,
"You should get a goat."

HUH????  Where the actual hell did that come from?? I had no earthly idea where the kid was coming from.  My inner dialogue went something like this, "A goat?  Why a goat? I have nowhere to put a goat. What did I say that made him think I needed a goat? What kind of goat? A Nubian? Australian mini? Should I get a bunch of goats and start an artisanal goat cheese business?"  Aaaaannnnnnddddd it's off! My brain, perpetually on overdrive.

After that little mental meandering I managed to circle back to ask him why he thought I needed a goat.

"You know how some trainers get goats to calm high-strung horses? Like thoroughbreds at the track? You need a goat."

Anyone know where I can get a goat?


  1. Bwahahaha.... You just made me truly LOL at work. Smart boy. I use wine to slow that freight train brain, but I guess a goat could work... It would take care of yard work .... ;)

    1. I'm glad you got a giggle - we often need all the laughes we can get at work! I use wine as well, and I love your "freight train brain" analogy. I hope you don't mind if I start using that - it's brilliant!

  2. Replies
    1. I agree! He's got a very dry kind of delivery that never fails to crack me up.

  3. Replies
    1. Glad you got a laugh - he always cracks me up. And yeah, he's not wrong. Rarely is (which is a HUUUUGE pain in the ass.)

  4. Replies
    1. Glad you liked it - it's always nice to know you've given someone a giggle or brightened there day in some way. How are you doing?

  5. Legitimately laughed out loud.

    1. Awesome! Totally glad I could give you a giggle. :)

  6. Hahaha!! That's hilarious.