I Got Picked for the George Morris Jumping Clinic!!

Nope, not the real one as seen in the monthly column in Practical Horseman magazine.  The parody, as seen on one of my favorite equestrian websites, Hillbilly Farms.  If you ever need a good laugh, trot on over to their site, or check out their blog, The Road Apple.  Warning: Not for the humor impaired!  I've turned my barn buddies on to this site, and we laughed so hard we peed ourselves.  Then again, some of us are of a certain age and have had children...

Anyway, Hillbilly Farms does a parody of the George Morris Jumping Clinic that appears in Practical Horseman magazine, and I think it's hysterical, so I submitted an entry. I submitted my favorite bloopers pic, one where Sugar is jumping so hard she jumped out of her shoe (look by her nose) and I am hanging on for dear life.

Happily the folks at Hillbilly Farms thought our entry had what it takes to give the equestrian world a good giggle.  Here's what they had to say:

Jumping Clinic with George Morris

Winning the Battle Against Perfection

This rider's heels are shoved down and she has turned out her toes. To compensate for this weak base of support, she is clinging to her horse with her heels. She needs to relax her legs and sink her weight into her heels.

This rider's insecurities have caused her to stay in the saddle over the fence. She needs to come up out of the saddle and slide her hands up her horse's neck for some semblance of a release. Getting off her horse's back and giving a release will enable the rider to flatten her back, bring her elbows in, and perhaps stop making faces. She needs to look up at her next fence—over a jump is not the time to contemplate what went wrong at her farrier appointment.

This horse is making a huge effort over this moderately sized oxer. Her effort has left the spectators gasping for breath. The horse appears to be jumping with power rather than style. The look on this horse's face tells me she would rather make the decisions than leave such things to her incompetent rider. (Blog Author's note: This is my favorite line in the whole thing - Sug would ABSOLUTELY be much happier if all decisions were left to her!)

This pair's turnout is unremarkable. Their casual turnout is typical for schooling jumper classes. I prefer fitted saddle pads to the square saddle pads that everyone uses these days. The horse is clean and well-groomed, but lacks hoof polish. This pair's performance would improve significantly if the rider invested in some extra nails for her horse's shoes.

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I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it, and I'm about as chuffed as if I'd won a Grand Prix!

If you have the time and want a few more chuckles (assuming you found this amusing, and since you've gotten this far, I'm gonna assume you have) I'd recommend:

Hillbilly Farms Dressage Training Scale

Show Gear

Trainer Quotes

Hillbilly Hunter Show MadLibs

My understanding is Hillbilly Farms is located somewhere in Washington State.  It's a pity I'm on the other coast, as I think I'd fit in there...