Monday, January 30, 2012

I Got Picked for the George Morris Jumping Clinic!!

Nope, not the real one as seen in the monthly column in Practical Horseman magazine.  The parody, as seen on one of my favorite equestrian websites, Hillbilly Farms.  If you ever need a good laugh, trot on over to their site, or check out their blog, The Road AppleWarning: Not for the humor impaired!  I've turned my barn buddies on to this site, and we laughed so hard we peed ourselves.  Then again, some of us are of a certain age and have had children...

Anyway, Hillbilly Farms does a parody of the George Morris Jumping Clinic that appears in Practical Horseman magazine, and I think it's hysterical, so I submitted an entry. I submitted my favorite bloopers pic, one where Sugar is jumping so hard she jumped out of her shoe (look by her nose) and I am hanging on for dear life.

Happily the folks at Hillbilly Farms thought our entry had what it takes to give the equestrian world a good giggle.  Here's what they had to say:

Jumping Clinic with George Morris
Winning the Battle Against Perfection

This rider's heels are shoved down and she has turned out her toes. To compensate for this weak base of support, she is clinging to her horse with her heels. She needs to relax her legs and sink her weight into her heels.

This rider's insecurities have caused her to stay in the saddle over the fence. She needs to come up out of the saddle and slide her hands up her horse's neck for some semblance of a release. Getting off her horse's back and giving a release will enable the rider to flatten her back, bring her elbows in, and perhaps stop making faces. She needs to look up at her next fence—over a jump is not the time to contemplate what went wrong at her farrier appointment.

This horse is making a huge effort over this moderately sized oxer. Her effort has left the spectators gasping for breath. The horse appears to be jumping with power rather than style. The look on this horse's face tells me she would rather make the decisions than leave such things to her incompetent rider. (Blog Author's note: This is my favorite line in the whole thing - Sug would ABSOLUTELY be much happier if all decisions were left to her!)

This pair's turnout is unremarkable. Their casual turnout is typical for schooling jumper classes. I prefer fitted saddle pads to the square saddle pads that everyone uses these days. The horse is clean and well-groomed, but lacks hoof polish. This pair's performance would improve significantly if the rider invested in some extra nails for her horse's shoes.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it, and I'm about as chuffed as if I'd won a Grand Prix!

If you have the time and want a few more chuckles (assuming you found this amusing, and since you've gotten this far, I'm gonna assume you have) I'd recommend:

Hillbilly Farms Dressage Training Scale

Show Gear

Trainer Quotes

Hillbilly Hunter Show MadLibs

My understanding is Hillbilly Farms is located somewhere in Washington State.  It's a pity I'm on the other coast, as I think I'd fit in there...


  1. Love love love Hillbilly Farms Jumping Clinic! Congrats! And thank you for a good laugh as I sit at my work computer glassy eyed after waking up with a head cold. I needed that! Since I have not jumped higher than 18 inches lately you are a rock star to me anyway- flying shoe and all!

  2. That was great and what a picture. I would have been hanging on for my life too, she is jumping like a rocket.

  3. Now that is a one in a million shot! Great photo, and congratulations on getting a mention! I don't know much about jumping, but that "clinic" had me in stitches.

    And I love, love, love the Hillbilly Farms Dressage Training Scale! I'm going to add "Hard Liquor" to the copy of the training scale I have hanging in my barn!

  4. So funny. Love ur ability to laugh at yourself. And now we are all chuckling with you. Sugar sure lifted off here.

  5. I know you probably get a lot of them, but on my blog I gave you the Liebster blog award :)

  6. Looks like someone beat me to it... I also gave you the Liebster Blog Award on my blog. Love your posts!

  7. Hmmm.... we're not supposed to leave all decision making to the horse? This changes everything.

    (Awesome post, Amy)

  8. Thanks for all the comments, guys! Crazy week, so I apologize for taking so long to respond. Yep, the HillBilly Farms folks are a hoot -- am so excited about being chosen.

    @L.Williams and Equestrian at Hart -- Thank you so very much for the Liebster Award! Am so touched. Have you ever seen Julie & JUlia? There's a part where she talks about how she now has readers and they're special to her and like friends. Anyway, saw that last night and thought of this.

    @ Bob -- I know! It's a complete paradigm shift, isn't it?

  9. PS Cfa -- Hope you're feeling better!