Saturday, April 21, 2012

Stuff You Won't See Me Wearing Around the Barn or in the Show Ring...

I see myself as being pretty conservative in terms of my personal sartorial style.  Nobody looks at me and says, "Oh yeah, she's fashion forward!" A colleague once called me a WASP-Talbots-Ann Taylor-T-shirt-and-Levis kind of gal.  Sounds a bits schizophrenic, maybe, but pretty much sums it up.  I'm either in classic business clothes, or jeans.  End of story.

Oddly enough, around my barn, though, I've gotten a bit of a "blingie" rep, which I don't quite get.  Okay, so I have a mare and I have indulged in the occasional pink or pink ribbon-trimmed saddle pad or purple stable blanket.  And yes, her Sanswill Designs jumping bonnet does have a bit of (tasteful) bling, but other than that, I wouldn't say we were outré or anything.

I mean, it's not like the Sainted Mare or I will be showing up to lessons or shows rocking any of these looks.  Mostly because we simply couldn't pull it off.  Some people can, and look amazing doing it.  We just couldn't.  Best to know your limitations, right?

Gotta love the folks at Hermes.  They make a heck of a product. This may be going a touch too far though.  Are the wings supposed to give you a little extra lift over the big oxers?  The Sainted Mare gave this a "hoof down."

A big "shout out" goes to the folks of the Chronicle of the Horse.  They are lucky enough to be at the Rolex World Cup in s'Hertogenbosch, the Netherlands, and posted these pics from the trade fair on the Photos & Video section of their site.   

These saddles look way cool.  I mean, snakeskin just says "I'm a Badass", doesn't it?  However, I'm pretty much guessing you'd need to be a professional to stay in the tack, though, as I doubt there is enough Sit-Tite spray in the world to keep my amateur tuckus in these saddles.

THIS saddle does not say "Badass" on any level.  'Nuff said.

God bless Anky Van Grunsven.  Amazing rider, great mom, AND savvy business woman to boot.  Likes all colors of the rainbow, as well.  Let's just say I'll be steering away from the brighter colors in the ANKY Technical Casuals collection.  SPANX doesn't make anything strong enough for me to go there.

Seriously, put me in those yellow puppies, strap a retractable Stop sign and some flashing red lights on me and I'd resemble what my blogging buddy Confessions of an AA Event Rider would call the "Double Wide Short Bus."  Lord have mercy!

Anybody need a little bling for your jumping boots? If I tried slapping a pair of these on Sug, I think my trainer might slap me.

Speaking of legwear, how about these?  I honestly can't decipher how I feel about the chaps.  I'm pretty sure I'd be laughed out of the barn if I wandered in wearing these, but I'm strangely drawn to them.  I absolutely LUST after the boots, but would never dream of wearing them at the barn. 

Who am I kidding?  I'll never wear either of these to the barn.  I'd have to sell the horse and cash in the kids' college funds to afford them. 

And in the Oddly Named Item of Clothing category, check out this Men's breech from Italian textile giant Animo.  It's called the Muffin.  Umm, that may be a FAIL on a couple of levels.  As in, muffin top is never attractive, unless on an actual muffin.  And could you ever wear these without hearing "Do you know the Muffin Man, the Muffin Man, the Muffin Man?" in your head all day?  Just sayin'...

Yep, boring as it may be, I'll be sticking to my plain old breeches and polo shirt, thank you very much. 

Carry on!


  1. I have purple breeches. Loveeeee them. (:

    1. Miranda, you are 21 and fit! Big difference when you're 42 and NOT fit. LOL!

  2. The most I do with Max is color-coordinate his saddle pads and his boots lol! I think it's so fun to pick out fun things for your horse but a lot of these are way overboard haha.

  3. You may ride the DWSB anytime! And, uh... really? Who wears that stuff!