Getting Old Bites. Oh Yeah, and Equestrian Hugh Jackman...

My medical war chest...

You know, I'm starting to feel like old food.  Just a bit past the old Sell By date, you know?  Mostly I'm okay with it.  I can deal with the wrinkles, the crappy eyesight, the fact that I could have given birth to most of the people I work with.  I can handle the fact that my legs look like a road map and certain parts have migrated in a distinctly southerly direction. Think Southern Hemisphere.  Chile, perhaps. Or Argentina. But I digress. 

That's another thing.  I can deal with my mind going. I can.  What I can't seem to deal with is the creaky, ouchy,  gimpy, EVERYTHING FREAKING HURTS part of getting older.  Seriously, between the messed up back, the wrecked shoulder and the muscle spasms just about everywhere, I'm about a nanosecond away from being humanely put down! 

I just took a good gander at what it takes to get me through a day and darn near passed out.  Ice pack, TENS Unit, Ben Gay lotion, Ben Gay patches, Tiger Balm, various pharmaceutical assistance in the form of NSAIDs and muscle relaxants, heating pad, and um, yeah, WINE.

While I was having a bit of an internal meltdown over this, the husband came in and asked my plans for getting the kids to their activities and oh by the way, what was for dinner?  (Why do they always do this at the precise moment it's least safe for them to do so?  Why? )  For some reason this got me thinking of what I'd REALLY wish he'd say, which got me thinking about the whole Equestrian Ryan Gosling/Equestrian Ryan Reynolds thing.  Which is great, but you know, both of them are a bit young for me, and while I'm all for the whole Mrs. Robinson thing, what I'd really like is a mature, family oriented, relationship-stable gorgeous dude who totally understood the horse thing as well as all the other crap I have going on in my life.

Enter Equestrian Hugh Jackman!

Now THAT's what I call a fantasy!